Sunday, May 1, 2011

Mother's Day - Part I

In an scientific survey I conducted while standing around the playground with a bunch of moms the other day, I was able to determine the following:

For Mother's Day, 9 out of 10 mothers would appreciate a day off from being a mother.

We -- I mean THEY mean no disrespect to our children who we love more than anything on this planet.  They hold no grudges about the permanent damage they have endured from stepping on a Lego in bare feet.  They can hardly think of a more enjoyable way to spend an hour than the hour they spent digging through the contents of the vacuum cleaner bag searching for a Polly Pocket shoe.  They really don't mind cutting off crust from sandwiches or even picking through an order of rice from Chipotle with a tweezer to remove all the green stuff.  It is their pleasure to do just one more load of laundry because the very important Star Wars t-shirt was found stuck under the hamper at 10:15 pm.

Having said that, they would accept a day off from those things and instead spend time getting dressed alone and drinking a whole cup of coffee while it is still hot and then maybe reading a book.

Realistically, they know this is not likely to happen, and even if it did, the person entrusted with the kids for the day would eventually bring them back totally exhausted and all of the benefits of the relaxing day off would fade away faster then you can say "Mommy, I left my favorite doll at the museum and I can't go to sleep without her and the museum is closed until Tuesday and daddy gave me three brownies and I feel like I might throw up."

My research further indicated that the people who market Mother's Day gifts know they are not selling what mothers would really appreciate but they're hoping the moms will agree to settle.  And the moms would not trade being a mom for anything else, and by the way, thanks for the flowers.  They sure made our day.

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